This post contain learnings from over twenty years working as a programmer and close to half a century living on this planet.
I met my partner over a decade ago, not long into our relationship we had a conversation: “why do you say things as if you know them, when you don’t?” I would usually reply “Of course I don’t know these things. I’m obviously guessing, you should know this”. When I first was confronted by this I felt misunderstood and even a little attacked.
The title of this post is a phrase often repeated in the onboarding process at my current company (and probably many others too). It sounds like a pretty straight forward thing doesn’t it? What kind of person would not automatically do this? I am afraid I’m one such person, and there is a reason why.
Once in my career I was bullied at work in a very subtle way for a long period of time.
I had read the term many times on the Internet from people who’s been vocal on certain topics which for different reasons turn out to be controversial.
Gaslighting
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting
I encountered this term for the first time when I was being vocal about an IT conference in Norway which I thoughts had a highly inappropriate name (post in 🇳🇴 Den Norske Dataforening sitt manglende gangsyn) . During this action in trying to get them to change, I was exposed to this behavior for the first time.
Disclaimer:
All my “On..” posts are things I write from beginning to end without any editing or thinking about structure (so it’s like all other posts?). They are just dumps of thoughts I’ve had which I deem that maybe they’re useful for something or someone, so I’ll just dump it here where nobody actually sees them.
A friend of mine told me his friends reaction when he said he was starting to learn how to play the flute.
Jeg har tidligere skrevet om hvordan du kan se på karrieren din i “Pakk sekken med ting du trenger for turen”. Denne gangen skriver jeg om noe litt annet, nemlig hva du kan gjøre for å komme igang med å planlegge din neste tur i karrieren din. Det er mange ting jeg kan og enda flere jeg ikke kan, men er det noe jeg har dokumentert kompetanse på så er det å flytte meg i arbeidsmarkedet (bare sjekk profilen min om du ikke tror meg).